First Kiss

I can't remember how long Nathan and I had been dating by the time we first kissed. I don't think it was very long.... or we could have not even been dating at all for that matter. This was my first kiss, ever. Kisses to me were very special. I don't go handing out kisses like some people do, they are very special and personal to me. Not saying that people who like to kiss a lot don't feel the same way. So yes.... my sophomore year was my first kiss.

We were over at Nathan's house watching a movie. I cannot for the life of me remember what movie. He might remember though, I don't know. He and I were cuddling and flirting and not paying one bit of attention to the movie. Poor Scott Varco was there with us. He was Nathan's best childhood friend and Scott was nice enough to just ignore us. We finally, for whatever reason, decided to hide under a blanket. Just thinking about it makes me smile- that's so silly! Maybe Nathan knew the only way to get me to kiss him was to do it in 'secret', under a blanket.

I remember us goofing around for a bit under the blanket, that only means that he would try to tickle me or vice versa. Finally our faces ended up very close to each other. We just stared at one another for a second. I was just watching his lips. I was terrified that I was going to do it all wrong.

Neither one of us moved in first. We both connected and it was kind of a mess. haha. His mouth was moving one way and I felt like my lips were trying to play catch up with his lips. It lasted about 15 seconds before we stopped. I'm guessing that at this moment Scott knew EXACTLY what was going on. We weren't making anymore juvenile noises any longer. But we sure thought we were being sneaky.

After the first kiss I couldn't stop smiling and neither could he. So we kissed again. And this time we were much more in sync. I loved kissing him in high school. I just couldn't get enough of it.

I still can't believe that was what.... 7 years ago? Time really does fly.

Old Flames Part II

I have this feeling that because of the way my relationship with Nathan ended, there are all these untied strings I'll never be able to sort out. This, I feel, is why I keep having old memories fly into my head.

.... Nathan and I begun to hang out more and more. We would hang out together after school. I would go to soccer practice, which he would walk me to. And he would go to play rehearsal. Some days soccer would get out early or I wouldn't have practice that day and I would go see him. At first I was shy and would just sneak over to the auditorium to see him. But Nathan brought me once down to the pit and showed me what he was up to. (We were sophomores by the way.) It was in the evening and I had flip flops and shorts on. A big no no around a 'construction site'. Nathan was a part of construction crew for the play and he wanted to show me around. If Dempsey- the teacher- had found out I was back there, I probably would have gotten in trouble, but Nathan and I didn't care. Well... Nathan didn't care, I like to be the obedient one and I was terrified I would get in trouble. Nevertheless, I still stayed, and she never showed up. I didn't know anyone and was and violently introduced to the theatre departments personality.

Random girl talking to some guy: "Hey hold your hand up and spread your finger apart."
Confused he does. She takes out a measuring device and measures from pinky to thumb.
"Nope not the biggest." She looks at Nathan and orders him to do the same thing. . . "Yep Nathan's is the biggest so far!"
Laughter. And a bit of an embarrassed face on Nathan. A very little bit.
I didn't get it. I thought I did and felt very uncomfortable. Nathan noticed my embarrassment and told me "not to worry, just ignore them."
And since it was Nathan. Just hearing him say that was enough for me. Maybe this type of introduction doesn't seem violent to you, but I was particularly sheltered and protected from crass and sexual conversations. Which I am glad of, although I wish I did feel more comfortable with their types of conversations, because I could have responded a bit better than a stupid blank stare and bright red cheeks.

Soon after, Nathan and I started dating. It was paradise. We never argued. We had so much fun and we understood each other better than anyone else. I think we may have been a bit of an odd couple. I was 5'2" and he was 6'3". That may have really only been the one odd thing about us.

Old Flames Part 1

In high school its not surprising to have a ton of crushes on people and for me at least, have most of those crushes really go nowhere. I only really remember a few names of my crushes. I think my first was Andrew Cramer. I was in 5th grade. Then I think it was Adam. . . something. I can't remember his last name. That was 8th grade. And then there was Nathan Hale. At first, he was the kid I would probably have never paid attention to and now he's the one that will always be in my high school memories. I remember the very first time we ever actually met. He and I were in the same class together. I can't remember which class, but I know exactly the room and I know we played the stock market there. I walked in and sat down on the side of the class and there was Nathan and Scott Varcoe talking up a storm about nonsense I'm sure. I smiled at both of them and sat down in front of Nathan intend on doing my work and minding my own business.

You have to know something here. When Nathan and Scott are put together, funny things just happen.Both of them were goof balls. Nathan had embraced his goofy-ness to the fullest and was very open about it. Scott was more contained... unless he was with Nathan. Or at least that's how it seemed to me.

I tried so hard to ignore them in class and focus on my work, but the teacher probably found my head turned around more and more each day. And I found myself liking Nathan more and more every day. Sorry all you other boys out there. But Nathan was my only true crush in high school. We built our relationship the right way, everything else was just heavy duty flirting as far as I'm concerned. Sorry. We eventually switched seats again and this time Nathan and Scott moved to the back corner. By this time I just really enjoyed the guys' company, particularly Nathans. I wasn't sure if they'd want me to sit back with them, but I was reassured as Nathan made some comment that made me sure they wanted me to sit by them. We had a blast in that class. I enjoyed every single day I went there. I always looked forward to seeing Nathan. Whenever he wasn't there I was bummed, disappointed and sad. I remember one day in particular that he didn't show up. I asked Scott where he was and he told me that Nathan was at the hospital for swallowing an over-sized guitar pick. Bahahahahahahahahaha! I think this was the first time I got Nathan's number. Another kid in class thought it was HILARIOUS that Nathan swallowed a guitar pick and thought up the genius idea to call him. Never-mind the fact that he'd just had a tube shoved down his throat and a guitar pick pulled BACK out of his throat. He was going to call him. I somehow got roped into talking to him on the phone and finally had his number. :)

In our conversations he told me once where he sort of lived. I convinced Melissa once to walk home with me and walk past where he sort of said he lived in the hopes that I would see him. Later I found out that he lived in the very very back of the neighborhood he was talking about and that my walk with Melissa was completely pointless and much longer than it had to be.

To be continued....